The chickens have returned! Actually, they were dragged back here (kicking and screaming) by two kind old people.. Once let out of their cage they surveyed the garden with jaded chicken-y eyes and looked for all the world as if they were annoyed to be back...
Fudge: Oh fuck it, not this place again!
Caramel: I know, right? You'd think they'd let us go after all that crap we had to deal with.
Fudge: I fucking hate that seedy shit. You'd think they can take a damned hint. Humans!
Caramel: Dude. If it wasn't for all that corn we'd be dead ages ago.
Fudge: Damn straight. I got so sick of fucking corn. God! (pecks the grass thoughtfully)
Caramel: Oh well, back to semi-starvation and long, dark nights (takes a big crap)
Fudge: Not if I can help it... (ominous silence as Fudge begins to plan Escape Number Two)
The old guy who brought them back informed us that their wings have been clipped.. And he didn't do a half bad job! They are more or less wing-less compared to the epic wingspan they used to have... and yet I watched them more or less effortlessly fly onto the compost bin and begin scavenging... The compost bin requires a certain amount of flight on behalf of the bird, and they are still managing to achieve an effective lift off despite the mutilated wings...
So. Annoying.
So - the plan is to fatten them up significantly. I will achieve this by means of deep-fried potatoes soaked in butter and hand feeding. A Dodo-esque chicken is a flightless chicken. Here's hoping they do not die of massive heart attacks before reaching egg-laying age.
The old lady informed me that their new names were 'Molly' and 'Polly'.
Like hell.
No comments:
Post a Comment